The Trap of the Spiritual Ego — Why Doing the Work Doesn’t Make You Better

I’ve been there.
I’ve lived through it.

There was a time in my growth journey where I genuinely believed I could “see things” that others couldn’t—and I let that belief create distance.

Not always outwardly. But internally?
I judged people who I thought were still “living unconsciously.”
I assumed that if they just did the work I had done, they’d be happier.
I felt frustrated when others didn’t want to dive deeper, ask bigger questions, or face their patterns.

It wasn’t coming from malice.
It was coming from pain I hadn’t fully healed.

And that’s the trap:
The spiritual ego often builds itself around unprocessed pain.
It wears the mask of “awareness,” but underneath, it’s still trying to feel superior. Safe. Worthy.

We don’t get extra points for meditating.
We don’t get spiritual gold stars for journaling every day or knowing our triggers.
We don’t level up by labeling other people as behind.

We all carry trauma.
We all carry beauty.
We’re all walking each other home.

Some people’s path looks like prayer and presence.
Others find theirs through loss, through love, through surviving another day.

And just because someone doesn’t use the language of personal growth, doesn’t mean they aren’t growing.

When we start seeing ourselves as “awake,” it can create a quiet wall.

We start othering people without realizing it:
“Oh, they just don’t get it.”
“They’re living unconsciously.”
“I used to be like that.”

That language might seem harmless. But over time, it builds separation.
And separation is the opposite of what this work is about.

True presence doesn’t inflate our identity—it softens it.
True growth doesn’t make us louder—it makes us more available.
True healing doesn’t put us on a pedestal—it plants us deeper in humility.

You want to know if the work is working?
Look at how much compassion you bring to the people who aren’t doing it.

Can we sit with someone in pain without needing to fix or educate them?
Can we witness someone’s resistance without judgment?
Can we remember the times we didn’t know what we know now—and honor that part of our story too?

That’s the work.

Not being the most “healed” person in the room.
But being the most grounded. The most present. The most empathetic.

The moment we think we’re above someone—we’ve left the work.
We’ve slipped back into separation. Into self-importance. Into control.
But when we come back to humility?

We remember:

• Everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have.
• Awareness doesn’t make us more valuable—it makes us more responsible.
• The most powerful thing we can do is model presence, not preach it.

People don’t transform because we tell them to.
They transform when they feel safe enough to do so.
When our energy invites them in—not talks down to them.

Why does this matter in the bigger picture?

If you’re on this path—whether you’ve been walking it for years or just arrived—this is your reminder:

The deeper we go, the softer we get.

Not because we become less powerful.
But because we become more loving with that power.

It doesn’t mean we stop using discernment.
It doesn’t mean we tolerate harmful behavior.
But it does mean we stop assigning value to people based on how “conscious” they appear.
Because growth looks different on everyone.

And sometimes, the most evolved person in the room is the quiet one still learning how to feel safe in their body.

You don’t have to prove your healing.
You don’t have to talk like a walking Instagram quote.
You don’t have to be the example of “enlightenment” for anyone.

Just be real. Be kind. Be rooted. Be present.

Let your nervous system speak for your growth.
Let your relationships reflect your growth.
Let your energy be the invitation.

Because if the work is truly landing, you won’t feel the need to separate from others.
You’ll feel more connected to them than ever.

And that’s what changes the world.