I needed my partner’s approval to feel loved.
My family’s reassurance to feel worthy.
My agent’s encouragement to feel like I was doing enough.
My industry’s recognition to believe I mattered.
My sense of self wasn’t coming from within—it was being defined by everything outside of me.
And the scariest part? I wasn’t even aware of it.
That moment of awareness—when I finally saw how deeply I had outsourced my value—was the first domino to fall. It wasn’t a “quick fix” moment.
Nothing changed immediately. But the moment I became aware, everything was set into motion.
Because here’s the truth:
Awareness is the foundation of all growth. It is step one. Without it, we’re just running on autopilot, repeating the same patterns, making the same choices, and wondering why nothing shifts.
Most people don’t realize that 95% of their daily actions and decisions come from their subconscious programming. The mind loves efficiency—it automates behaviors, beliefs, and emotional reactions to keep us “safe.” And unless we pause long enough to notice what’s running the show, we will keep living out the same loops.
We say we want change, but awareness has to come first.
Awareness isn’t just a mindset—it’s a function of your brain. Right now, there is an area in your brainstem called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) that acts as a filter for everything you experience. It determines what you notice and what fades into the background.
Think about it—have you ever learned a new word and suddenly started seeing it everywhere?
That’s your RAS at work. It takes what your mind focuses on and highlights it in your environment.
Now, apply that to self-awareness.
- If your mind is constantly repeating, “I’m not enough”—your RAS will filter your reality to find proof of that belief.
- If you start noticing your patterns and shifting toward “I am learning and growing”—your RAS will begin filtering for new possibilities, self-trust, and opportunities.
This is where neuroplasticity (your brain’s ability to rewire itself) comes in. When we become aware of our automatic thoughts and patterns, we literally create new neural pathways—rewiring our brains for a different experience of life.
So when people say, "Awareness changes everything," they’re not just speaking spiritually. It’s a biological truth.
But awareness isn’t something that just happens—it’s something we must actively cultivate.
The moment we see our patterns, we can’t unsee them. That’s why awareness is both a gift and a challenge. It brings things into the light—our limiting beliefs, fears, and emotional triggers—and that can feel uncomfortable.
But discomfort is not a sign you’re failing. It’s a sign you’re waking up.
For me, awareness wasn’t easy at first. Realizing how much I relied on external validation made me question everything: Who am I without other people’s opinions? Do I still matter if no one is applauding me?
But this discomfort wasn’t punishment—it was an invitation. An invitation to shift. To start finding my sense of worth from within. To redefine success, fulfillment, and love on my own terms.
If awareness is step one, the next step is cultivating more of it. The good news? You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight—you just need to start noticing.
Here are four ways to build awareness today:
1. Pattern Recognition: Start Tracking Your Reactions
Pay attention to what triggers you. When something stirs up a big emotional reaction (frustration, fear, anxiety), pause and get curious instead of reacting immediately. Ask yourself:
- What am I believing in this moment?
- Have I felt this way before?
- Is this pattern familiar?
For example, if someone’s opinion instantly makes you doubt yourself, that’s a clue. It’s showing you where your worth is still tied to external approval.
2. The “Observer” Practice
Throughout the day, imagine yourself as a neutral observer watching your thoughts and emotions. Instead of getting caught up in them, simply notice: Oh, that’s interesting—I keep thinking I’m not good enough.
This practice creates space between you and your thoughts, helping you see them for what they are: conditioned beliefs, not truths.
3. The Power of Reflection: Journaling or Voice Notes
Awareness deepens when we reflect. Try this:
- Set a timer for 5 minutes and journal about one moment today where you felt triggered, emotional, or reactive.
- If journaling isn’t your thing, record a voice note talking it out. Sometimes speaking it aloud makes it even clearer.
The goal isn’t to “fix” anything yet. It’s just to see it.
4. Somatic Awareness: Feel Your Patterns in the Body
Most people try to gain awareness through thinking—but your body holds awareness too. Start noticing where emotions show up physically:
- Anxiety might feel like tightness in your chest.
- Fear might feel like a pit in your stomach.
- Frustration might feel like clenched jaw and tension in your shoulders.
Instead of just analyzing why you feel something, try feeling it fully. Place a hand on the part of your body holding tension, take deep breaths, and let yourself acknowledge, "I am feeling this, and that’s okay."
The more we connect with the body’s wisdom, the more intuitive and grounded our awareness becomes.
The Takeaway: Awareness Changes Everything
If you take nothing else from this, remember:
You don’t have to force change. You just have to see yourself clearly.
Because the moment you do, transformation becomes inevitable.
I’ve seen it in my own life, and I see it every day in my work. The second you become aware of the patterns keeping you stuck, you create the space to choose differently. And from that space?
Everything shifts.
Thank you for reading, and until next time, stay grateful and keep growing! 💚
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